


Colonic Boom: Episode Two - Rock Blocked

by VSCNFF



Series: Colonic Boom [2]
Category: Sonic Boom (Cartoon), Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
Genre: Dark Comedy, Gross, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 22:24:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VSCNFF/pseuds/VSCNFF
Summary: It's movie night, but when things take a turn for the worse it quickly becomes movie night-mare. (No, that's not the worst pun you've ever heard. Stop exaggerating.)





	Colonic Boom: Episode Two - Rock Blocked

**Chapter One: Movie Night**

Colonic and friends gathered round the television as Lamey pushed a video tape into the VCR. "Welcome," she began, "to the first in a series of screenings showcasing the very best of classic porno from the 1980s. We begin with 'Hedgehog Whores 4: Spikes 'n' Dykes' straight from my personal collection."

Dicks and Twats were perched on the edge of Lamey's couch in eager anticipation, while Fuckles and Colonic sat on the floor to get a closer view.

"Pass me the Kleenex, Colonic," said Fuckles.

"Get your own."

Fuckles reached over to try and filch some tissues, but before he could grab any the lights went dark.

“Oh no. Power's out!” said Dicks.

Colonic let out a long sigh. “So much for movie night. And I was so looking forward to seeing 'Hedgehog Whores 4.' It's supposed to have more fisting in it than the first three movies combined.” 

“What? No movie? You mean I lubed up for nothing?” said Fuckles.

“This blows. I can't see a thing. Do you have any candles Lamey?” said Dicks.

“Only my special scented ones. We're not wasting those on lighting up the room. They are VERY expensive!”

“I don't like the dark, I feel so vulnerable!” said Fuckles, accidentally pushing several items off of Lamey's credenza as he fumbled around, trying to get his bearings.

“Aren't echidnas nocturnal?” said Colonic. 

“Calm down everyone,” said Dicks, “we can go to my place, I got oil lamps. Though first I wanna just say, I told ya so. I warned you about technology's inevitable failure. Wish you could see how smug I'm looking right now.”

“I don't need to see it, I can practically _feel_ the smugness,” said Lamey.

“ So how are we going to get to Dicks' burrow in the pitch dark? I can't see my own nose,” said Colonic.

“Don't worry,” said Dicks, “I always carry night vision goggles with me, just in case. Let's all link hands and I'll lead you to my burrow.”

“That's quite the chat up line, Dicks,” said Lamey.

“Do you want my help or not?”

  
  


**Chapter Two: Ready and Waiting**

“ Yes, it's all coming together,” said Robuttnik as he watched the live feed from his spy drone. “Colonic and his obnoxious little buddies won't know what hit 'em! Whorebot and Pubebot, are you ready to execute stage two of my plan?” 

“Yeah,” said Pubebot over the radio, “We're ready to start it as well.” 

“Give me that,” said Whorebot, snatching the radio from Pubebot's hand. “We're all sorted on this end, sir. Just give us the signal and we'll move it into place.” 

“Excellent,” said Robuttnik, rubbing his palms and grinning wildly. “They're going to regret the day they were born. I mean, that's not to imply that they were all born on the same day. I meant that they will each regret their respective birthdays. I don't know when their birthdays are, but how likely is it that they all fall on the same day? Let's see, three hundred sixty five days in a year, five of those little vermin—wait, I should probably account for seasonal variance in local birth rates. I'm going to need some statistics. What's the number for the town hall? Maybe they can help me get hold of some census data.”

Whorebot rolled his eyes, “Perhaps we ought to focus on the plan for now, Sir?”

“Oh right, the plan. Yes, I must focus. Those brats aren't going to exterminate themselves, after all. Well, maybe that red idiot, what's his name? Nuffles is it? He might. In fact, I'm surprised he has lasted this long; but now his time is up, along with the rest of them. I can hardly wait to be rid of those loathsome little pests. When you two have finished over there, you can come back and prepare me a victory meal!”

  
  


**Chapter Three: The Price of Freedom**

Dicks' front door swung open and the five friends stumbled inside the burrow. “We made it,” said Dicks as she rushed to light one of the many lamps suspended from the ceiling. 

“ Ow,” said Fuckles. “Who threw that?”

“Threw what?” asked Twats. 

They all stood silent as the sound of a door being slammed shut behind them was followed by an earthshaking rumble. 

“What's going on?” asked Lamey. 

Dicks finished lighting the lamp and everyone looked over to the door. 

“Who shut it?” asked Dicks.

“Not me,” said Lamey.

“Or me,” said Twats.

Dicks looked at Colonic, who shook his head.

“I didn't even know you had a door,” said Fuckles, rubbing his head.

“Must've blown shut in the wind,” said Lamey.

“What wind? It's as still as a petrified turd out there,” said Colonic.

“Hey,” said Dicks, “what's that walkie-talkie doing on the floor?” They all turned to Dicks and shrugged. “Well it ain't mine. You know I don't like technology in my home.” 

“What about those night vision goggles?” said Colonic.

“I gotta see the enemy coming, don't I?” Dicks picked up the walkie-talkie and switched it on. 

The sound of Robuttnik's insufferable voice suddenly filled the room. “Hello there. Everybody having a nice night?”

“Buttdick!” said Colonic. “Are you responsible for this blackout?” 

“Little old me? Would I do a thing like that? Wait, of course I would. And I did!”

“What's your game, Rosuck-dick!?” snarled Lamey.

“Did you all feel that little rumble earlier?”

“Yeah, did you fall out of bed or something?” said Dicks.

“Actually, a minor earthquake seems to have caused a rock to roll down to your door. I think you're all trapped in there. Nothing to do with me, of course.”

Dicks flung open the front door to find a huge boulder staring back at her. 

Robuttnik continued, “I'd just like to point out that I'm fully aware of that 'secret' passage to the froglodyte caves. Thanks to my...creative portrayals, you're now considered something of a monster to them, Dicks. The rest of you don't fare much better, so don't even think about stepping foot in there. You'll be eviscerated immediately. In fact, they're sharpening their spears as we speak.” 

“Oh no,” gasped Lamey. “If we don't get out, we're going to starve in here!”

“Yes Lamey, that is an accurate assessment. Now if we can move on from stating the obvious, that radio I gave you has a video conferencing function. Switch it on with that green button there and we'll be able to see each other.”

“Oh, goody,” said Lamey, the tone of her voice belying her increasing sense of dread.

Everyone gathered round Dicks as she hit the green button, watching as Robuttnik's unsightly visage flashed up on to the screen, his moustache not quite fitting in the picture. Slowly, the camera zoomed out to reveal that Robuttnik was standing alone in Lamey's house, a terrifying grin plastered upon his face. 

“That's a mighty fine couch you got there. Would be a shame if someone were to dirty it up,” he said, taking off his shoes. 

“What's happening?” said Lamey. “Don't you dare ruin my couch!”

“I ran all the way here,” said Robuttnik as he removed his shirt. He turned to display his naked sweaty folds to the camera. 

“Oh God!” cried Lamey, covering her mouth with her hand.

Robuttnik took off his underpants and clambered on to the couch, gallons of sweat soaking into the fabric. After several minutes of rolling around and rubbing himself against the upholstery he quickly rubbed one out leaving thick splodges of jizz all over Lamey's beloved loveseat. “

“My butt is itchy,” he said, grabbing Lamey's ornamental unicorn and inserting its horn into his ass. Lamey looked on in horror as Robuttnik slid the horn back out to reveal a thick coating of liquid shit. “I took some laxatives to make sure I was nice and gooey down there. Guess it paid off. Now let's visit Twats' place.” 

Twats prepared himself for the worst as Robuttnik ran naked through the dark streets, flash light bouncing—much like his belly—as he went. Using his weight he barged down the door to Twats' workshop. “Nice tools you got here,” he said, picking up an expensive screwdriver and slowly licking the handle. One by one he inserted all of Twats' hand tools up his butt, leaving all the handles with a heavy coating of runny faeces.

“My babies!” cried Twats.

“Have fun licking them clean, goober!” Robuttnik cackled. He then ran out and made his way to Colonic's beach hut. Colonic tensed up, holding back his feelings of helplessness.

“Ah, a hammock, the last refuge of a swine. Sorry, hog... Snip! Snip!” Robuttnik tore through Colonic's hammock with a pair of scissors and then emptied out the remaining contents of his bowels straight on to the pile of shredded hammock.

“Stay strong Colonic, stay strong,” whispered Colonic to himself as he clenched his fists tight, trying his best to contain his rage.

“Only one place left to visit now,” said Robuttnik.

“The library?” said Fuckles.

“No, you dimwit! I'm talking about your house.” Robuttnik pried open the door and stepped inside Fuckles' home. “Wow, what a dump. There isn't even anything here worth ruining. Except this lamp.”

“No!” cried Fuckles. “I love that lamp like a brother. Can't you go back to Colonic's house and destroy something else of his instead?”

“Hey,” said Colonic. “That's not fair. He's already done me.”

Robuttnik lifted Fuckles' lamp above his head and smashed it down in front of him as if he were swinging an axe. The shade buckled and the bulb shattered, scattering tiny shards of glass all over the floor. 

“The lamp that shines half as long, shines twice as bright,” said Fuckles. 

“That was unusually poetic for you Fuckles,” said Lamey.

“There's no need for insults.”

“That was a compliment.”

“Like I said, there's no need for insults.”

“I give up,” said Lamey.

“Now I'm nothing if not fair,” began Robuttnik, “so I'm going to give you a chance to get out of there. If you do what I say without hesitation, then I will get Whorebot and Pubebot to push that boulder out of the way for you.”

“What do you want us to do?” asked Twats nervously.

“First, I want you to all draw straws. Let me know who gets the short one.”

“We don't have any straws,” said Dicks. “Let's just do eeny meeny miny sock instead.” Dicks pointed to everybody in turn, starting with Twats. “Eeeny, meeny, miny, sock, catch a, hedgehog, by the, cock, if he, hollers, let him, walk, eeny, meeny, miny, sock.” 

“Sorry Twats. It's you,” said Dicks.

“Aww,” sighed Twats, hanging his head in disappointment.

“Wonderful,” said Robuttnik. “Now we have our victim...I mean uh, our lucky winner, I want you all to tie him up against the wall. I'll give you my next instructions when I see that little goober strung up on my screen.”

“I don't like where this is going,” said Twats.

“Yeah, this is wrong,” said Colonic.

“What choice do we have? We'll starve in here if we don't do what he says,” said Lamey.

With that, the four of them strapped Twats up on the wall. Twats trembled in fear as he began to have flashbacks to his ordeal at Robuttnik's island lair. “Don't worry, buddy. This'll soon be over and then we'll be free,” said Colonic.

“Looking good,” said Robuttnik, “Now I want Colonic and Fuckles to cum in Twats' fur.”

A grim look struck Twats' face as Colonic and Fuckles started stroking their cocks in front of him. “Sorry Twats,” said Colonic as he jizzed all over Twats' chest.

“I think I have some kind of infection or something,” said Fuckles as he sprayed a foul smelling, thick grey discharge on Twats' chin. 

“Eww, Fuckles!” said Lamey, holding her nose. 

A queasy looking Twats vomited over Fuckles' cock and Fuckles grabbed Twats' tail and used it to wipe his cock clean.

“This is grim,” said Dicks.

“Super grim,” added Lamey, picking up the walkie-talkie. “We did what you asked, so can you let us out of here now Robuttnik?”

“Not yet. I want one of you to go to the refrigerator and grab all the expired food you can find.” 

“I don't have a refrigerator,” said Dicks, “but I think there's a jar of rancid Béarnaise sauce in the cupboard.”

“That'll have to do,” said Robuttnik. “Now open it up and dump it all over Twats' head.”

“OK,” said Dicks, unscrewing the jar. She poured it out over Twats as he squirmed in his restraints. Dicks stifled a smile. Though Twats was a good friend to her, she couldn't help but be amused by the sight of him writhing about, revealing a vulnerability in him that she found endearing.

“Good! Very Good!” said Robuttnik. “Next I want a close up video of Twats, so make sure to get him in view. I want a recording of him looking into the camera and saying, 'I love sucking Dr. Robuttnik's beautiful penis.' Then it's going online, for the whole world to see!” 

“I'm not saying it!” said Twats, desperate to hold on to whatever dignity he may have left.

“Come on Twats,” said Lamey. “We all have to make sacrifices if we want to get out of here.”

“Hey, I'm the only one making sacrifices here. What have you done?” argued Twats.

“Well, I've had to watch. It's not been easy for me,” said Lamey.

“Poor you,” replied Twats. “Fine, I guess I have no choice.” Twats looked into the camera and took a deep breath and then reluctantly mumbled the line.

“Oh no,” said Robuttnik. “That's no good at all! Do it again, but this time, say it like you mean it.”

Twats forced a timid smile and loudly stated “I love sucking Dr. Robuttnik's beautiful penis,” for the camera while a dollop of Fuckles' discoloured jizz slid from the tip of his chin.

“Capital! Time to upload this to social media. Good job you guys,” said Robuttnik. 

“So you'll let us out now?” asked Dicks.

Robuttnik burst out in a fit of hysterical laughter. “I never had any intention of letting you out. I just wanted to humiliate you one last time before you all go to meet your maker. Enjoy starving to death, dweebs. Toodles!” 

The room fell silent.

Tears welled up in Twats' eyes. “All that for nothing,” he sobbed.

Colonic untied him and helped him down. “Don't cry buddy, if it's any consolation I got a little turned on while watching you suffer.”

“Eww, Colonic! What is wrong with you?” said Lamey.

“Not cool, Colonic!” said Fuckles, shaking his head.

“Sorry, that just slipped out,” said Colonic.

“What are we going to do now?” asked Dicks. 

“If only we had a drill or something,” said Lamey.

“Maybe I can build something out of all the junk that Dicks has hoarded,” said Twats. “Let's see,” he said, digging through piles of assorted peculiarities, “maybe I can fashion a laser cutter from this stuff. But...damn, we'll need power to run it. All we have are the batteries in the walkie-talkie, so that's no good. I guess we need to think of a plan that doesn't require electricity.” 

“I have an idea!” said Fuckles proudly, “I shall squeeze through the plug hole in the sink, crawl through the pipes and out to safety!” He ran over to the sink and pushed his index finger into the plug hole, next he squeezed his middle finger in. “Now for the thumb,” he said with ill-deserved confidence. But there was no more room.

“Fuckles, this is idiotic. There's no way you could ever fit through there,” said Colonic. 

“Nonsense. I'm nearly in.”

“You only have two fingers in there. In what world is that 'nearly in'?”

“Fine,” said Fuckles, “aborting mission.” Fuckles pulled, but his fingers would not come free. He was well and truly stuck, so he did the only thing he could and pulled harder, tearing the sink away from the wall entirely. 

“Nice going, Fuckles,” said Dicks. “You're paying for that.”

“Sorry,” said Fuckles, as he shook his arm vigorously. The sink eventually broke free and slammed into the wall, narrowly missing Lamey. 

“If starvation doesn't kill us, Fuckles will,” she said. 

Water was pouring out from a broken pipe where the sink used to be. Dicks turned the stop cock to shut it off. “I don't feel like drowning today,” she muttered.

“Maybe Fuckles was on to something,” said Twats. The others turned to stare, looking at him as if he'd gone mad. “The sink's pipes are too small, but there's a bigger pipe we could use. The one coming from the toilet.”

“Genius!” shouted Fuckles. He ran over to the toilet, grabbed it with both hands and ripped the bowl straight out of the ground. 

“Fuckles! Stop destroying my home!” cried Dicks.

“Fuckles is the biggest of us all, so it doesn't make any sense for him to try and get through the pipe. The thinnest of us should do it,” said Twats, turning to look at Lamey.

“Eww, no. I'm not crawling through a sewer pipe,” said Lamey, shaking her head.

“What was it you were saying earlier about making sacrifices?”

“OK, I'll try,” she said. “Guess this is what I get for keeping such a trim physique.” She began tentatively manoeuvring her head into the pipe. Fuckles grabbed her legs and jammed her in as she screamed like a banshee. 

“Just keep moving down the pipe Lames,” said Dicks. “Eventually you'll reach the end and come out into a septic tank. Don't worry, it should have been emptied just yesterday. There's a hatch you can use to get out from there. It should be getting light outside by now, so you'll be able to see where you're going. Go get help.”

“Uh huh,” replied Lamey.

“I really need to pee,” said Fuckles.

“Well you should have thought about that before you ripped out my toilet,” said Dicks. “You'll just have to find an alternative, like a bottle, a jar or Twats' mouth.”

Fuckles grabbed Twats by the throat and rammed his member deep inside. “Fuckles!” said Dicks, “What the hell are you doing? I was just joking!”

“Oops,” said Fuckles. “I can't pull out now, or I'll spray piss all over your floor.”

“Yeah, you better finish now you've started,” said Dicks.

“Ahh yeah, I needed that,” whispered Fuckles. “Sorry Twats, I'll ask your permission next time.” Fuckles removed his cock from Twats' mouth, shaking out the last few drops of piss as he went.

Twats took up a foetal position in the corner of the room and began to rock back and forth while sobbing. Dicks went over to comfort him, feeling a little guilty. Meanwhile Lamey was getting close to the end of the pipe. “I'm nearly there,” she shouted. “Aargh!”

“What happened?” shouted Dicks.

“I thought you said the septic tank would be empty?”

“Yeah it should...oh wait, maybe it's next week when it gets emptied. My bad.”

Lamey's dress caught on a sharp edge as she tumbled face first into the deep faecal sludge, tearing the dress to shreds. Struggling up to the surface she flailed around, desperately trying to breathe. After finally locating a ladder's rung on the wall, she grabbed it and climbed her way up. Nude and covered head to toe in sewage, Lamey pushed the hatch up above her and clambered out to freedom. “This is so humiliating,” she muttered under her breath, “now I gotta go find help. Guess I'll try at Meh Burger.” As Lamey walked, she felt soft chunks of turd squelching inside her cunt. The sensation almost brought her to orgasm. Never had she felt so filthy in all her life.

  
  


**Chapter Four: One Out, Four to Go**

Lamey arrived at Meh Burger and since the village had no power, cooked food was off the menu. As a result, the place was deserted save for one man: Dave the Intern. Dave was idly spinning an empty ketchup bottle on the counter-top and staring vacantly into the distance; once again demonstrating his unerring dedication to uselessness.

“ Dave! You gotta help me,” Lamey pleaded.

“I don't know if I should help someone who's wearing blackface, it would be bad for Meh Burger's image,” he replied.

“This isn't blackface! It's poo!”

“That's a relief, I was beginning to think that smell was coming from the food. As soon as my break is over I'll help.” 

Lamey sneered at him and Dave relented. “Fine, I'll take the rest of my break later. So what can I do for you?” 

“Robuttnik trapped me, Fuckles, Dicks, Twats and Colonic in Dicks' burrow.” Dave the Intern raised an eyebrow. “I managed to climb out through a waste pipe, but the others are too big to get through. We need to shift a huge boulder that's blocking the door.”

“I'm not the most muscular guy around,” said the remarkably weedy Dave the Intern. “I'd love to help, but I don't think I can do much on my own. Maybe if you gather a dozen or so villagers together you could get it moving. Try knocking on doors to round up a large enough team.”

“Aww, but then half the village is gonna see me naked and poopy,” sighed Lamey. “Could you go round and ask for help instead?”

“I could, except I need to get back to work. Sorry.”

Lamey involuntarily queefed causing several chunks of moist shit to drop out of her pussy and onto the floor.

“I know you're disappointed,” said Dave, “but there's no need for that.”

“I'm so fucking embarrassed,” thought Lamey to herself. She skulked off in a mood, heading towards Gogoba village. Time to get some real help.

One arduous trek later and Lamey had arrived. “Hey Gogobas, can you help me? Please ignore the fact that I'm covered in crap.” 

“Is that sweet corn on your head?” said the Gogoba chief.

Lamey ran her fingers over her head and gathered several pieces of sweet corn in her hand. “It would appear so,” she said. “Now I know what Dicks has been eating.” Lamey's nipples hardened in the cool morning air, but she folded her arms to hide them. She was starting to get a thrill out of being a filthy little whore, but she felt so intensely disgusted with herself that she could never admit it, even to herself.

“My friends are trapped in a burrow. Can you help me move a boulder out of the way, so they can get out?”

“We'd love to help,“ said the Gogoba chief, “but we don't have insurance. I suppose we could risk it and if we have any crippling back injuries we'll just have to go without any food for a few weeks. Most of us would starve, but why should the deaths of dozens of tribe members stand in the way of you rescuing your friends?”

“OK, you've made your point. I'll go ask somebody else,” said Lamey. With that she walked away and went to try her luck at the library. 

  
  


**Chapter Five: Cabin Fever**

“ I'm bored,” said Fuckles. “When is Lamey gonna come back for us?”

“I know this sounds weird coming from me, but be patient,“ said Colonic. “I'm sure she's doing all she can, so how about we find a way to pass the time?”

“I'm gonna take a shower,” said Twats as he eyed the crusted spunk and expired sauce that had matted into his fur. 

“Sorry Twats,” said Dicks, “but I had to turn the water off, remember? Fuckles ripped out my plumbing.”

“I forgot about that. Nice going Fuckles.”

Fuckles was busy searching through the contents of Dicks' shelves. “Hey, you got any board games?”

“No. Board games are just thinly veiled propaganda designed to brainwash the masses. Battleship? A recruiting tool for the navy. Monopoly? A love letter to wealthy landowners. Even Scrabble has been compromised. Why do you think 'government' scores more points than 'freedom'?”

“Because it has more letters in it?” said Twats.

“So, you're on their side huh?” snarled Dicks, leaning forward as if ready for a brawl. Twats took a couple of steps back.

“Let's forget the whole board game thing,” said Colonic.

“I know!” said Dicks, “I could serenade you guys while playing my banjo.”

“Let me out. I have to get out of here!” said Fuckles, frantically searching the room in the hope of finding an exit that had somehow been overlooked for all this time. 

“What I think Fuckles meant to say is that now might not be the ideal time to endure—I mean enjoy your unique musical talents,” said Colonic.

“I guess you're right. Our grim situation won't do my music any justice.”

The guys each let out an audible sigh of relief.

Twats leaned into Colonic and whispered. “That was a close one.”

  
  


**Chapter Six: Rules are Rules**

An angry voice greeted Lamey the second she stepped into the library.

“ Get out!” said the librarian, “You're ruining the carpets.” 

“Please, I need help. This is an emergency.”

“Sorry Lamey, but I'm going to have to issue you with a lifetime ban. We have strict rules about coming in here covered in shite.” 

Lamey went to stand outside and began shouting through the door to the librarian. “OK, I'm not in the library any more, now can you help me?”

“Sorry, but we don't provide any services to banned individuals such as yourself.”

“But I'm not asking the library for help, I'm asking you.”

“You are asking me during work hours. As an on-duty employee of the library, any request I receive is therefore a burden on the library itself. Expecting the library to spare a valuable resource—i.e. me—to assist you in your personal matters is simply unreasonable. I would be violating company policy if I were to leave these premises for any reason other than to fulfil my duties as librarian. Tell me, is your emergency book related?”

“Not really.”

“Does it threaten the continued operation of this library?”

“No, I suppose not.”

“In that case, it is none of my concern.”

“But I don't even need you to leave the building. I just need you to make a call to the emergency services. My friends are trapped.”

“Sorry. I'm not allowed to use the telephone for non-library matters during work hours.”

“Surely there must be an exception for emergencies?”

“I suppose I can call my boss and ask him if we can make an exception. But that would count as a personal call, so I'd have to make it _after_ closing time.”

“But it's early morning? I can't stand here for several hours! What if I were to commit a crime, would you be duty bound to report it to the police?”

“Only if the crime involves, or takes place on library property.”

Lamey walked back into the library and ran her crap-covered hands down the librarian's face. 

“Ahhh!” shouted the librarian. “I've never witnessed such inappropriate behaviour in my library.” With that, he picked up the phone and dialled. “Police please, there is an individual who is trespassing on library premises, causing criminal damage and rubbing poo on my face.” He paused to give Lamey an angry look. “OK, thank you.” The librarian hung up. “They're on their way.“

Lamey took a seat and opened up a steamy romance novel to help pass the time as she waited for the police to arrive. The pages soaked up the sewage that covered her hands and every time she blinked, a moist little turd nugget flew off from her eyelashes and onto the page. Normally Lamey would abhor the idea of ruining a perfectly good book, but right now she had bigger problems.

Forty minutes later a disinterested looking police officer stepped through the entrance. 

“Hello officer, that's her, the one in blackface,” said the librarian, pointing at Lamey.

Lamey felt relieved. She had finally found someone who could help save her pals. “I'm so glad you're here officer. You've got to help my friends, they've been trapped insi—”

“Whoa there. I can only deal with one crime at a time. First, I'm arresting you for trespassing,” explained the officer.

“Fine, but please listen to me. My friends are—” 

“OK missy, that's enough. Come with me. If you have a crime you wish to report, then you can do so after you've been processed down at the station.”

“But it's an emergency. They need help now!”

The officer cuffed Lamey and led her outside. “The squad car is out on a call, so we're gonna have to walk to the station.”

Many of the village-folk were on their way to work. They all stopped and stared at Lamey as she was paraded through the streets by the police officer. She felt their eyes staring, judging her and enjoying the sight of her perky waste-soaked breasts. She imagined them relishing her humiliation, exposing a sweet innocent pillar of the community as a filthy degenerate criminal. She supposed they would never look at her the same way again. 

On the journey to the station, they passed by Dicks' burrow. “Hey, the boulder, it's gone,” said Lamey. Then she spotted Dicks.

“Lamey, is that you?” said Dicks, running over to her. “Why are you naked?”

“My dress got caught on something and it tore. How'd you get out, are you all OK?”

“We're fine, Fuckles just pushed the boulder out of the way and everyone went home.”

“HE PUSHED THE BOULDER?” growled Lamey.

“Yeah, don't know why we didn't try that in the first place. It's easy to forget how strong he Is.”

“I crawled through a septic tank, humiliated myself in front of the whole village, got arrested and banned from the library for absolutely nothing?” Lamey burst into tears and fell to her knees.

“The ol' waterworks won't work on me, sweet-pea. Now keep walking,” said the officer, pulling her back up to her feet.

“See ya later, Lamey,” said Dicks as she waved to her goodbye. “Hope you get out of jail before the next movie night comes around.”

**FIN**


End file.
